


Feelings For You

by wht_cnry



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/M, Hexanna spin on episode s18e47 - Protect and Serve
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2019-07-29 04:24:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16256606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wht_cnry/pseuds/wht_cnry
Summary: Henrik warns Roxanna that he believes that one of her patients needs a psych evaluation, but she disagrees. Later she discovers that he was right about the patient.





	1. Chapter 1

Hanssen was sitting at the nurses’ station signing some forms for Dominic and he couldn’t help but notice one of the admitted patients - Mr Donovan - on the ward seemed to be taking an unhealthy interest in Roxanna Macmillan. His eyes were dark, almost black, trailing down her body as he smiled, taking a good look at certain assets of hers. The man glared at anyone else paying any sort of attention to the neurosurgeon. Henrik could be seen as being overprotective of a woman he cared about and had known since university, but the way the patient was looking at her was more than healthy admiration; it was a primal want. Mr Donovan, 45, was Roxanna’s patient, he fell down some stairs, resulting in a bleed on his brain. His operation was successful thanks to her and he was simply still on the ward for observation. 

Henrik was concerned for his colleague’s wellbeing and voiced these concerns to her. “Don’t you think, Mr Donovan would benefit from a psych evaluation?” 

“What, why?” Roxanna was confused by Henrik’s observations of her patient. 

“He seems to have formed a less than professional attachment to you.” Henrik informed her.

“He’s in my care. Don’t be ridiculous, Henrik. Trust me.” He did trust her, he always had, but he didn’t trust her current patient. For her, he would let it go.

“Alright. I trust you’ll make the best decision for you patient.” He conceded.

“Thank you.” She nodded. She walked away from him, leaving him to finish filling out his paperwork, to go to her patient.

“Does he know?” another patient on the next bed asked.

“Does who know what?” Roxanna asked with a puzzled expression on her face.

“Mr tall, dark Hanssen. Does he know that you love him?” she smirked. “Don’t look at me like that. I’ve got a few years on you. There’s no point in denial or putting it off. He’s attractive and as far as I can tell, he seems interested in you.”

Roxanna was speechless. 

“Good men are hard to come by these days. I’ve been here a few times with Mr Hanssen and I’ve walked out of those doors each time.”

Roxanna was still speechless. She walked away to deal with another patient, but she didn’t see the jealous scowl on Mr Donovan’s face.

Hours later, Henrik walked into his office, unaware of the man that followed him. The man remained unknown to Henrik until the door was forced shut, making Henrik jump and look up from the patient notes he had been analysing.

Mr Donovan.

He was standing there, dressing still in hospital robes. The man had a crazed look in his eye. Henrik was about to inquire about what he wanted, but quickly he lunged at Henrik. Henrik realised too late that he had a scalpel clenched in his right hand, which he must have grabbed from one of the surgical carts around the ward. Henrik crumbled to the ground, landing hard on his back and he tried to cover the wound to prevent himself from bleeding out, as there was little else he could do.

The man stood over Henrik, who was struggling to stay conscious and could feel himself going into shock and shouted, “If I can’t have her then no one can.” The clearly mentally unstable man stormed out of the room. Mr Donovan was so angry about Henrik that he didn’t notice that Roxanna had walked into the Consultant’s office as soon as he left.

Roxanna was confused to what one of her patients had been doing in the office and how he even got in. She walked into the office and everything seemed to be in place, except a file on the floor. She couldn’t understand it, the only other person ever in the office was Henrik and he was meticulous, he would never leave anything out of place, never mind on the floor. She walked over to where the file was and that was when she saw him.

Henrik Hanssen.

He was flat on his back, a blood pool accumulating around him. He had a scalpel lodged in his abdomen. She was in shock, but quickly gathered herself and check his pulse.  
She shouted out of the door when she felt his weak pulse press against her shaky fingers. “I need some help in here!” Dom peaked inside and proceeded to get a stretcher. She covered his hand over the wound and kept pressure on it. “Henrik,” she stroked his cheek. “Can you hear me, Henrik? Open your eyes for me.” His eyes fluttered open. It seems to take him time to focus on her, but it seemed to her that he was happy to see a familiar face rather than his attacker. 

“Roxanna.” He spluttered, his breathing erratic and it concerned her a great deal. Her best friend lying in a pool of his own blood. Attacked in his own office, this place was supposed to be a safe haven for both of them to get away from the daily chaos and to focus on the worst part of being a doctor and saving countless lives – the paperwork.

She felt tears threatening the spill down her cheeks, but Henrik took her small hand in his free large hand and squeezed it in reassurance. Under different circumstances she would have laughed at the ridiculousness of the whole situation. Here Henrik was stabbed and bleeding out on the floor of his own office and he was reassuring her that everything was going to be okay, when really it should have been the other way around, but that was Henrik. He was always putting her first and the one time he asks something of her, she ignores it, thinking he was just being overprotective. It turned out to be a grave mistake, one of which could have been fatal for Henrik, but she was relieved that currently he was alive. 

Dom and Sacha rushed in with a stretcher ready to take him down to theatre ASAP. Roxanna stood there frozen. What had just happened? She looked down at the blood on her hands, her best friend’s blood, the man she wished could be more than a friend.

She washed the blood from her hands and cancelled all of her consultations for the day to await news on Henrik’s condition. She dreaded to think about what would have happened if she hadn’t found him.

She sat in her office chair, staring at Henrik’s empty chair and reminiscing about old times with Henrik. They had known each other since university, but it felt like longer. He had always been there for her and now she wasn’t going to leave his bedside until she was sure he was okay. He deserved at least that from her.

Henrik was out of surgery in little under an hour, Roxanna was comforted by the news that there were no complications in his surgery and he should wake up as soon as the anaesthesia wears off. He was put in a private room, with security outside his room, although Mr Donovan had been dealt with. It wasn’t difficult for her to put two and two together and work out that Henrik had been correct to be hesitant about Mr Donovan’s mental state. She called psych to give him an assessment and she had been informed by the psych that her patient had conjured up the delusion of an intimate relationship with his surgeon, Roxanna, which caused severe anger and jealousy issues when Henrik was in the picture. She remembered the concerns Henrik had and the conversation she had prior to his stabbing with the patient that asked her if he knew that she loved him. She called in another neurosurgeon to cover her, while she sat with Henrik. Roxanna knew that under no circumstances would she be able to work, knowing he was in this state, so she withdrew herself from her current cases and took some time off to spent with Henrik, although she was technically still at her place of work.

When she made it to his room, Serena was already there by his bedside. Roxanna stopped in the doorway, not wanted to interrupt Serena’s time with him. She knew she wasn’t the only one in the hospital who was concerned about his wellbeing, in truth it was something that shook the whole hospital. Henrik Hanssen, former CEO, stabbed in his own office by a delusional patient. Serena must have felt the presence of someone else behind her, as she turned and smiled at Roxanna waving her inside the room.

“I’ve spoken to his surgeon.” She informed Roxanna. “He’ll be fine, but I dread the conversation we’re going to have with him about who he will be staying with when he leaves the hospital to continue his recovery.” She smiled.

Roxanna smiled at the thought and nodded agreeing with Serena, a woman she had never really had any sort of interaction with. It was nice talking to someone who understood. “He can stay with me. It would probably be the least awkward for him. He used to sit with me in my room at uni and we’d just talk about anything. I used to think it was both him and John that made everything easier, leaving my family, but it was always him.”

Serena smirked at all the information Roxanna seemed to be spilling and Roxanna seemed to be oblivious to how much she was saying. “John deserved what he got. He can’t hurt either of you again.” Serena took Roxanna’s hand and squeezed it. “It would have destroyed him if anything happened to you.” Serena smiled. “I’ll leave you two alone, if there’s anyone in this whole hospital that he would want to see when he wakes up, it would be you.” Serena winked, and left Roxanna stood at the end of his bed looking at his unconscious form. His glasses had been taken off, probably so that they didn’t get accidently damaged during his procedure and they were placed on his bedside table. He looked peaceful, but she would feel better when she saw his eyes open and alert looking into hers. She sat down on the chair beside his bed, looking at the serene expression on his face.

She couldn’t help the feeling of guilt that overcame her about the whole scenario. Henrik had specifically suggested that she order a psych eval for Mr Donovan, but she brushed it off as him being over protective. “I’m so sorry, Henrik. I could have prevented this from happening.” She felt his hand cover hers and squeeze reassuringly.

“I don’t blame you.” He said croakily, opening his eyes slowly.

Roxanna didn’t realise that she was holding her breath until she gave a big sigh of relief at hears his voice. “Henrik. You’re awake.” She said it to herself more than to him, but he answered nonetheless. 

“I am.” His voice was still hoarse, so she stood up and poured a glass of water from a jug on a nearby table, assisting him in drinking some, as he had only just awoken and hadn’t fully regained his strength. Once he’d had enough she placed it back on the table next to the water jug and sat back down on the chair at his bedside.

“I’m so sorry, Henrik.” She repeated because she really didn’t know what else to say. At seeing his kind eyes open again, she felt a stray tear slip from her eye. Henrik placed his hand hesitantly on her cheek, not wanting to violate any boundaries, and carefully brushed it away with a flick of his thumb. She smiled at his touch and covered his hand on her face with her own, intertwining their fingers together.

“And as I said I don’t blame you and I meant it.” Henrik reassured.

She nodded. “Do you remember what happened?” 

He nodded slowly. “I was in the office about to do some paperwork. He followed me in the office. I hadn’t heard him behind me and when I turned around he stabbed me.” There was still one thing on his mind. “Do you know why he stabbed me, I’ve had no interaction with him?” Henrik furrows his eyebrows.

She pulled his hand away from her face, putting it back on the bed, but kept their hands together. She pushed herself off the uncomfortable hard chair beside his bed and perched herself on the side of his bed, realising what she was doing Henrik shuffled over to give her more room, but he winced slightly at the movement. “Careful.” She warned. “I don’t want you to hurt yourself anymore.” She looked down and away from him. “Not because of me.”

“I’m fine, don’t worry.” He smiled and then he repeated his question. “Why, Roxanna? Don’t I deserve to know?” he asked softly.

She sighed quietly at that because the truth was that he did deserve to know. He deserved to know that he was stabbed because she cared for him. He was a good man, one of the best, this shouldn’t be happening to him. She took a breath and let the truth out for him to hear. “It’s all my fault.” His thumb brushed over her knuckles and she continued. “I should have listened to you. The psych said he has jealousy issues and before you were stabbed another patient asked if you were aware of the… feelings I have for you.” She said the last part of the sentence slowly, almost hesitantly. Honestly, she was unsure how he would react. She didn’t know if now that he had all the information that he would blame her for what happened.

He held her hand. “You shouldn’t blame yourself. This has happened on AAU before.”

“What do you mean?” She was genuinely intrigued.

“A couple of years ago, Fletch suggested a psych eval for a patient, but Bernie brushed him off.”

“What happened?” she was surprised, but she obviously knew that he ended up being ok.

“Mr Fletcher was stabbed and ended up in ITU. He was in a coma for a while, but he recovered, as I will.” She smiled as this.

“Yes, you will.”

He smirked slightly. “Don’t think just because I was stabbed and am a bit slow at the moment that I missed what you said.”

“I don’t know what you mean.” She feigned innocence.

“Would you care to enlighten me of these feelings you have?”

“We’ve known each other for thirty years, but it feels like you’ve always been there. You’ve looked after me and I’ve come to realise that I don’t know what my life would be like without you.” She stared at him for a moment, his smile gave her reason to continue. “I love you, Henrik.”

His smile said everything, but he responded to her anyway. “I love you, too.”

She cupped his cheek in one hand and placed a delicate kiss to his soft lips, which he reciprocated immediately. The kiss was meant to be a soft peck, but when he kissed her back, she couldn’t find it in herself to break away until she had to. His hands were appropriately on her hips, as hers slipped into his dark curls. When they broke away, she leant her forehead to his and grinned, which was new to her. 

“I wanted to run something by you.” She whispered as she hugged him to her.

“Of course.”

“When you’re discharged, you’ll need someone to keep an eye on you while you recover.”

He saw where this was going. “Are you volunteering, Ms Macmillan?”

“Only because I care, Henrik. So, you will come and stay with me while you’re recovering?”

“Alright.” 

“Great.” She smiled, leaning back down to kiss him again.

Serena walked in at that moment, shaking her head. “It’s about time.” Serena stood in the doorway with her arms crossed and a smirk on her face. Roxanna, still with a smile on her face turned in Henrik’s arms towards his visitor in the room, Serena. “It’s nice to see you awake, Henrik.” Roxanna stood up beside Henrik but kept a hold of his hand. “You’ve become the talk of the hospital. There’s no avoiding it now, Henrik. Fletch achieved the same when he was in his coma.” It was a distant memory, but it still dawned on her how close Fletch and now Henrik had come to dying had they not been found in time.

“I tend to ignore hospital gossip, I think you’ll find that most of it is just unsubstantiated rumours.” 

Serena nodded. “Of course, I know that better than anyone.”

Henrik smirked, knowing what she was referring to. “It was worth the rumours and embarrassment, though, wasn’t it?”

Serena blushed. “Really, it made its way all the way up to your office? You never told me that.” She hid her face in her hands.

“It was just a rumour and besides it wasn’t my business.”

“Yes.” She agreed. “Anyway, how are you feeling?”

“Better.”

“I’ve spoken to your doctor and they want to keep you in for observation over night, but after that you can go home, but you need someone with you.” Serena informed him.

“Hmm, it’s already sorted.” Roxanna smiled.

Serena smirked. “Of course, it has.” Roxanna’s cheeks lightly flushed. “I’ll leave you two alone then.”

When she was gone, Henrik turned back to Roxanna and brushed the back of his hands over her cheek. “I’ve never seen you blush quite like this before.”

She ducked her head, “that’s your fault, you know.”

“Mmm.” He murmured

She looked up to see his eyes were weary and only half open now, opposed to when he first woke up. He was putting off sleep to keep talking to her and while she enjoyed every second of it, she knew he needed every moment of rest he could get to help him in his recovery. 

She fully intended on taking advantage of her saved up days off to look after him and keep an eye on him, as he could be as determined as she was at times, which could end in him doing more harm than good. She already knew he would object to her wasting her days off on him, but she didn’t see it as a waste, any time spent with him was something she had treasured ever since their uni days. She would help him in his recovery and then they could properly explore these feelings they’ve both had for decades for each other but had never acted on until now. It was exhilarating, like a new chapter in their lives, but for now he needed his rest.

“Sleep, Henrik, I’ll still be here when you wake up.” She promised, but he shook his head.

“I’m not going anywhere, at least until tomorrow. You should go home, get some rest. Don’t be stubborn.”

She smiled at his consideration and shook her head defiantly. “I’m staying here with you and there’s nothing you can say or do to change my incredibly stubborn mind.” 

Too tired to argue with her, Henrik, reluctantly nodded his head and closed his eyes. Before he allowed himself to succumb to his exhaustion, he felt her soft lips press a light kiss to his cheek and also felt more than heard her say “Goodnight, Henrik” against his cheek.


	2. Chapter 2

Waking up the next day, Henrik felt a force weighing down his left arm, turning to find the source, he smiled at the sight in front of him. The essence of stubbornness herself, Roxanna Macmillan had her head laid on his bed, while the rest of her body was hunched over in a chair dragged over as close to his bed as she could get. Her hand was strongly clasping his even in her sleep. It was quite a sight to behold. Roxanna was hardly a stress-free person, in fact sometimes it seemed like she had the world on her shoulders, but here and now she seemed to not have a care in the world. She was beautiful and tranquil, but unfortunately, he knew it wouldn’t last as when she woke up she would be stiff. Although the she had a look of serenity on her face, he knew she would curse herself for choosing that position to sleep in as it couldn’t be comfortable. For now, she was at peace and he couldn’t help but smile about it all.

She stirred under his watchful gaze as if she could feel his eyes on her. Her hand loosened the grip it had on his hand but didn’t move away. Her head was facing him, so he could see every minor movement and flickering of her eyelashes when she was in the process of waking up. His eyes met her kind blue eyes; she smiled when she noticed he too was awake. Squeezing his hand ever so slightly, she sat up stretching her aching limbs – mainly her back - due to the way she was sleeping. Her blonde hair was slightly dishevelled from the way she was sleeping, but Henrik admired this look. He didn’t think about things like this much but he thought her hair like this made her look adorable. 

“You’re awake. How long have you been awake?” she asked, while she was still in the process of waking up herself.

He shrugged. “Not long.” He shook his head in disbelief and she raised her eyebrows at this action. “You have got to be the most stubborn woman I’ve ever met and that includes Jac Naylor.” 

He smiled, and she laughed at the idea of being compared to Jac Naylor. “I wasn’t going to leave you alone here. You’re coming home with me today anyway, so there wasn’t any point in going home.”

Henrik shook his head slowly, as to not spur on a headache or any sort of harm to his already damaged form. “Well, for a start, you would have gotten a better night’s rest.”  
“There was nothing that could make me leave this hospital without you, not even the knowledge that I would get a good night’s rest in my own bed.” She argued stubbornly.  
“Hmm, it could be a tie between you and Jac. Maybe it’s just us consultants, maybe we’re all infuriatingly stubborn…” he looked over at Roxanna, meeting her eyes “…some of us more than others.” A small smile flitted over his face at her expression.

“How stubborn is Jac anyway?” she prodded.

“Once I left the hospital and I went back to Sweden. Ms Naylor tracked me down in Sweden and asked me to go back to Holby to run the hospital again.”

“Wow. That’s determination.”

“Mmm.” He agreed. “I asked her why I would go back to mediocre British hospital where nobody had any faith in my leadership and she told me she didn’t want to work in a hospital that cares more about money than the patients.”

“Well, I can’t fault her there.” Roxanna’s hand rose up to his face to stroke his cheek with the back of her hand. “Do you miss it?” she asked absentmindedly. When he raised an eyebrow, she clarified. “Being the CEO, being in charge?”

“Sometimes, but it’s nice not to have the whole hospital on my shoulders. I no longer have to make those decisions where whatever I decide someone loses. I’ve had my ups and downs with this hospital and now it’s time for someone else to take it on. So far Miss Tate is doing fine.”

“Hmm. I once heard that you were the best CEO Holby has ever had.” She grinned.

Henrik smiled, knowing exactly whose opinion that was. “And where did you hear that?”

“I have my sources.” She answered equivocally.

“So, it wasn’t Mr Levy.” Henrik smiled. “Or maybe it was Miss Tate? She seems to have a high opinion of me.”

“Both actually and other people as well. You may have had hard decisions to make, Henrik, but you should know that people appreciated it and you. According to Sacha you’re the best CEO the hospital has ever had.” Her pearly smile lit up his private room.

“My new position isn’t bad, and I share an office with a lovely neurosurgery consultant.” He stroked his thumb over the back of her hand.

“Oh really.” She raised an eyebrow at him and encouraged him to continue.

“Indeed. A smart and considerate woman.” His words of kindness touched her heart, she could feel her heart rate quicken in her chest; she was taken by surprise at how simple words could affect her so much. “A woman always offering me help even when I don’t always realise that I need it.” She teared up. “I don’t think I ever thanked you for the support you gave me after Frederick’s death, so thank you.”

She nodded, kissing him on the cheek to show her appreciation of his kind words. “You’d do the same for me. The moral compass of the hospital. Essie once told me you were the one to go to for advice and a bit of Latin.” Henrik smirked and remembered that conversation they had, when she was confused about the moralities of doing a bad thing for a good outcome. 

They looked up towards the door simultaneously, when there was a soft knock on the door, alerting them to the presence for the nurse bringing Henrik his discharge papers. She kissed his cheek once more before she left the room to gather their things from the office before they went home.

He watched her leave, not quite believing that this was all happening. The corner of his lips curved up before he continued with filling out the paperwork to discharge himself from the hospital. Once he handed the paperwork over to the nurse, he began to get dressed.

When Roxanna quietly re-entered the room, with their bags and coats, he had his back to her. He had managed to dress himself in his trousers and he was currently buttoning up his crisp white shirt. His movements, even when he had his back to her she could tell, were slow due to the trauma to his body. She stood in the doorway, watching as he meticulously wrapped up his tie and put it in his pocket. With his suit jacket hung over his arm, he turned around and saw her watching him from the doorway. He perched his glasses on his nose and smiled at her. He walked over to meet her at the door, with her arm hooked in the crook of his elbow they walked out of the hospital together.


	3. Chapter 3

Staying at Roxanna’s house reminded him of his days at university, where they had met. In those days, the two of them would sit on her bed, sometimes listening to music and other times they just spoke about anything. Those days were imprinted in his mind permanently, but the evening that stuck in his mind most was her B and E at the university library. That night was ridiculous, they had both been drinking and people do strange, out of character things when they are drunk but breaking into a library after hours seemed like the most bizarre nerdy thing they could have done looking back. Henrik didn’t regret a single moment he spent in that library, she broke into the library to prove a point, showing her true determination that night, while also, although unbeknownst to her, making him love and respect her even more.

It felt so natural living with her, even if it was only going to be while he was injured. It was like coming home. It was still only the first night he was staying there and already he feel utterly comfortable in a way he hadn’t with anyone else.

Roxanna was so caring and had she not been successful as a neurosurgeon, she would have made a great nurse with her caring nature and charming bedside manner. She made sure he was comfortable and had everything he needed. Before they had gone to her house, they had stopped at his house to pick up a few essential items like clothes, enough to keep him sustained until he could live alone again without having someone there to keep at eye on him. He had to admit though that it was nice that he actually had someone that cared about him enough to do that. 

By the time Roxanna had made dinner for them both, it was beginning to get dark outside, so afterwards they both headed upstairs to get dressed in their pyjamas for bed. Although they had established that they would be changing their friendship slightly for a more intimate relationship, they mutually agreed to take things slowly while Henrik was in recovery, so he would be staying in the guest room.

For Roxanna, the process of her nightly routine was relatively easy. She simply changed from her blouse and shirt into a large shirt and a pair of pyjama bottoms. After that she took off each earring one by one, then brushed her hair, as it was part of her usual routine. Deciding to get a glass of water for Henrik, she stood up from the chair, which was conveniently placed in front of her mirror, and walked into the bathroom to get the drink for him.

In the next room, Henrik was having a bit more difficulty with the simple tasks, which normally he would have no problems with. He had managed to undress himself of his usual attire, his suit, and he was able to dress himself in his pyjama bottoms, but not his sleeping shirt. He was sitting on his bed dressed only in his bottoms, while he was struggling with his shirt. 

Outside of Henrik’s room, Roxanna had her hand prepared to knock out of politeness, but when she heard moans of pain, she let herself in. Henrik was still shirtless, but she didn’t let herself get too distracted by it when she noticed he was bleeding through his bandages. Calm and composed, she left the room swiftly and returned with the first aid kit from her bathroom. She knew there was no need to panic, as he had only broken his stitches, but she wished that he would just accept that she was there to help him. She sat him down on the bed and knelt down to look at his abdomen. She gently peeled back the pad over his stitches, she cleaned his wound again and stitched him up again. 

She sighed once she was done, taking her eyes off his abdomen and looking directly at him. “You’re not alone Henrik. You can ask me for help if you need it.”

He looked away from her. “I didn’t want to bother you with something so trivial.” Turing back to look at her, he stroked her pale face just under her eye. “You’re tired, you need to sleep. You don’t need to worry about me, I’m fine, but you haven’t really slept since I was stabbed, have you?”

Roxanna flinched slightly at the word ‘stabbed’, she knew it had happened after all she was the one who found him, but the sight still terrified and haunted her. A tear fell from her eye and travelled down the contours of her face. “When I walked into that office, Henrik, it was just another day at the office, but when I saw you.” More tears started to fall. “You were lying in a pool of your own blood. You could have died, and I can’t help thinking what if I hadn’t found you…” Tears were now freely flowing down her face, so Henrik lightly pulled her down on the side of the bed next to him and held her in his arms. 

He held her and placed the side of her head against his chest, so she could feel and hear the beat of his heart. “Can you feel that, Roxanna? I’m alive. You will drive yourself crazy with all the what ifs, the fact is that you did find me, and you saved my life.” 

She nodded against his chest and smiled at the comfort his steady beating heart brought her. She pulled away and leant up to kiss his cheek. He was surprised by the action, but he still welcomed it. She dried her eyes and decided now was as good a time as any to talk about his limitations with his new injury.

“Henrik, you’ve been stabbed. No one expects you to wake up tomorrow and be at the hospital performing surgeries as if nothing has happened. You need to give yourself time to recover properly.” She took his face in her hands. “I want to help you in your recovery, but you have to tell me how I can help. You don’t need to be fully independent after what happened. Let me help you.” He stared into the icy blue depths of her pleading eyes and nodded. She grinned at the fact that he was allowing and trusting her to help him. “Looks like I’m not the only stubborn one, Henrik.”

“Hmm.” He agreed.

She helped him get dressed for bed, moving slowly, stopping when he was in pain and only continuing when he nodded to her. “Now I want you to listen to me.” His eyes met hers to give her his full attention. “I’ve ran it by Miss Tate and I won’t be working for the next week, so I’ll be here if you need anything.”

Henrik objected immediately. “You don’t have to do that.”

“No, you’re right, I don’t, but I want to.” Henrik saw little point in arguing with her, as there was no way of changing her mind, so he just nodded.

Roxanna kissed his cheek and wrapped herself in his arms and buried her head into his chest. “Henrik, can I ask you something?”

“You never have to ask if you can ask?” He answered.

“Will you hold me tonight?” she asked timidly.

He gently kissed her forehead, as she nuzzled deep into his chest. “If that’s what you want. I’d like nothing more.”

She smiled, taking his hand and led him back to her room. They lay in bed together in each other’s arms, it was nice – intimate, but not sexual. After everything that had happened, they were now at peace in the safety of each other’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> B and E = Breaking and Entering.


	4. Chapter 4

Henrik didn’t realise how big a miss he was at the hospital until various colleagues started turning up on Roxanna’s doorstep to see how his recovery was going. Roxanna could only smile every time a familiar face from the hospital arrived at her door. It was common knowledge that Henrik was staying with her, as she wasn’t working while he was recovering, but only Serena knew the extent of their relationship. It was known that they had history together before Roxanna came to Holby, but not what that history actually was or how close they were.

First, of course, was Serena to check up on Henrik and also to gather more information of this blossoming relationship between the two consultants currently living together. When everything at the hospital was falling apart, he turned to Serena to help him and take on the role of temporary CEO, while he was grieving for both his son and the person he killed – Raf Di Lucca. It was easy to say that he trusts Serena implicitly, but when she brought up relationships, he stayed tight lipped about it all. Even though, he knew Serena would be the last person in the hospital to betray his confidence and spread gossip about them, he wanted to keep it all private unless Roxanna was comfortable about disclosing the nature of their new relationship. In truth, not a lot had actually changed, the only difference really was that there was more affection and intimacy between them. With Henrik injured, Roxanna felt it best that they kept their relationship limited until he was healthy.

Serena had to admit that she was disappointed by the three visits to see Henrik, not because of his health, as he seemed to be improving, but because he was unwilling to feed her curiosity and tell her about his new relationship with Roxanna. It wasn’t until she visited a fourth time, that she finally got some answers, but not from the person she initially thought she would get them from. She went to see Henrik and was invited in by Roxanna, who informed her that he was resting, as she offered Serena a coffee, which she accepted. Sitting drinking coffee with Roxanna, Serena soon had the neurosurgical consultant telling her about the growing relationship that had begun between her and Henrik. Serena had accomplished her goal and she had all the information she had wanted and more on Henrik’s new relationship. Roxanna had shared her immense shock of finding Henrik and how at first, she thought he was dead. She had described it as a knife though her heart and she knew then that she couldn’t go on with her life without telling him how she felt, although she was scared about how he would react. She had also told Serena about taking things slow, until Henrik was properly back on his feet. Serena nodded along with her, agreeing that this was the best course of action.

“Look after him, I don’t know what we’d do without him.” Serena said when she was leaving.

Roxanna nodded. “Of course.”

The only person Serena reported all her findings to was Bernie, who just smiled and said it was about tie someone made him happy. Despite the fact she hadn’t known him as long as Serena, she was a good judge of character and knew he was a good man, who deserved happiness in the cloud of darkness that had consumed his life for long enough.

Ric Griffin visited Henrik to check on him and to make sure he was looking after himself. He trusted Roxanna to look after him, but it put his worries and mind to rest seeing his friend and colleague looking healthy. Ric wished Henrik well, but noticed some lingering looks between Roxanna and Henrik while he was there. He had a suspicion that there was some sort of connection between the two when they were all reading Serena’s postcard, while she was in the vineyards of Cape Town, but now he was absolutely sure – they were both in love with one another and from the looks of things they had finally given in to the smothering tension and chemistry between them. When Henrik walked him out Ric shook his hand and wished him the best, adding that Roxanna was a lucky woman. He winked at Henrik and left before Henrik could reply, so he just shook his head at his colleague.

Dominic had also visited the home of Roxanna Macmillan twice to see the consultant he had created an occupational bond with. When Henrik started working as a consultant on Keller, he became fond of Dominic Copeland, even encouraging him to live outside of the hospital and ask Nurse Ben ‘Lofty’ Chiltern to marry him. Naturally, Dom had become closer to Henrik as well and was in extreme shock when he saw Roxanna leaning over Henrik’s bloody body. He froze for a second before jolting himself back to reality to got get a stretcher with Sacha to take Mr Hanssen to theatre. 

Dom couldn’t help but feel a sense of relief and seeing Mr Hanssen sitting at Roxanna’s kitchen table with a coffee. They discussed Dom’s recent cases, while Henrik had been on leave, and Dom asked him about when he would be returning to Holby. Roxanna answered when he was better, raising an eyebrow at Henrik, practically daring him to defy her. Henrik cracked a smile and nodded, Dom smiled too at Roxanna’s protective side. He could tell she cared about Mr Hanssen very much, but obviously wouldn’t let him go back to work until she was sure he was ready.

When Dominic was leaving he thought it best to show his gratitude, Mr Hanssen had walked him to the door and Dom turned back to face the consultant. “I want you to know how much I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. I don’t think I ever really thanked you for just being there when I needed someone after Arthur’s death.” He laughed. “I probably wouldn’t be engaged at all if we hadn’t spoken that day. I hope she makes you happy Mr Hanssen.” Dom smirked. “Don’t think I hadn’t noticed. I’m looking forward to working with you again, Mr Hanssen, but enjoy this time you have together with her. Take your patient’s advice and be truthful.” With that he nodded to Henrik and walked away. 

Sacha just smiled when he saw him. “Henrik, you’re looking better.” Thinking back the last time he had seen Sacha had been when he was coming to Roxanna’s aid and he had been informed that Sacha operated on him, but he left the hospital for an appointment, so Henrik hadn’t seen him since. Sacha had been welcoming when he resigned as CEO and was on Keller, as Serena would say back in the trenches, and despite misunderstandings on Hanssen’s first day back on Keller, they both got along well. While he was there, Sacha, much like Dominic, told Mr Hanssen of his most interesting cases on Keller that he had missed. Henrik simply told him that he missed being able to work, as the alternative was boring to him. He refused day-time television, as staring at a screen for no particular purpose would drive his insane, Sacha nodded understandingly. He told him about how he appreciated what Roxanna was doing for him, but he wanted nothing more than to be useful and able to be a doctor again.

Roxanna opened her front door one day to find the formidable Jac Naylor outside wanting to check on Henrik. She smiled as she recalled the story Henrik had told her of Jac tracking him to Sweden and asking him to go back to Holby. Jac respected Mr Hanssen. There were slight parallels between them in some ways, as they both had tough childhoods – with his mother’s suicide and her mother abandoning her. They understood each other and while they sometimes didn’t see eye to eye, there was a mutual admiration for doing what was necessary. Although she seemed cold-hearted, Jac worked hard for her patients, as Henrik had done for the hospital during his time as CEO and still did for his patients now that he was working on Keller.

Jac informed him that gossip on the wards about him had stopped after one of the nurses found her doctor husband sleeping with another nurse in the store cupboard. Henrik shook his head in amusement. “I’ll never understand the appeal of gossip.”

“You and me both.” Jac smiled, which was a rarity.

She left when it was beginning to get late, as she had left Emma in Fletch’s capable (she hoped) hands. She told Roxanna to look after him, as the hospital needed more doctors like him. Roxanna merely nodded in agreement and warned Jac to take care driving in the dark depths of the night.

Even Henrik’s replacement, the newly appointed CEO, Abigail Tate made an appearance on the doorstep of Roxanna’s house to check on Henrik’s progression in his recovery. She seemed to admire him for his accomplishments as CEO, but what she didn’t seem to grasp was the way it could affect a person. He never let the juvenile insults like ‘Horrid Henrik’ or ‘Henrik Hitler’ get to him, as he was there to do a job and only someone who had filled the role could possibly understand the difficulty of the decisions that had to be made. While he was CEO he had lost count of the amount of times he had be cornered by staff about cuts he was making, but these were the situations he had to deal with. While she visited him, Miss Tate told him about how the hospital was doing in his absence and asked his opinion on certain matters that needed to be attended to. She told them she wished to see them back on the wards as soon as Henrik was fit.

One of the most memorable visits he had from the hospital staff was when Nurse Essie Di Lucca came by to see him. They had become closer when he had diagnosed her with ovarian cancer, despite the fact that Henrik’s son, Frederik shot her husband, Raf in cold blood. Being a nurse, Essie was very intuitive, although she did initially miss the attraction between Henrik and Roxanna, she noticed now that something had changed. She watched every lingering touch and every quirk of their lips. 

Once Roxanna had left the room to answer her phone privately, she turned properly to Henrik. “So, you took my advice then, you told her how you felt?”

He cleared his throat self-consciously. “I didn’t have to, she told me how she felt. I asked her why I was stabbed, her patient had no contact with me and she told me it was because he had jealousy issues because of the feelings she had for me.”

Essie was fully grinning. “Well, it seems that sometimes the mundanities of life don’t get in the way, wouldn’t it, Mr Hanssen?”

He smiled slightly. “So, it would seem.”

“I’m happy for you. After everything that’s happened you deserve to be happy.” She grinned at him.

After Essie had left, Roxanna came up behind him and rubbed his shoulders. “I hope you don’t think I’m being nosy, but ‘the mundanities of life’, sounds more like you than Essie.” She stated rather than asked.

Henrik smiled. “Not nosy, no, curious definitely.”

“Is there a difference?” she inquired.

“I think of nosy people as neighbours, but people who are curious are generally smart.” She smirked at his answer. “On your birthday, we treated Julie Bloom.” She nodded. “Herself and Essie bonded quite a bit while they were both staying in that room. When you went back into theatre to operate, Essie cornered me in the staffroom.”

“What did she say?”

“She said what happened to Julie made her think about seizing the day. I told her the mundanities of life tended to get in the way and she asked me…” he paused and looked at her for minute before continuing “…how long I’d been in love with you.”

Roxanna looked surprised and looking back at that day she should have seen the signs that were as clear as day. “What did you say?”

“Nothing. She just said I should tell you. No regrets.”

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” she asked softly, sitting down next to him and intertwining their fingers together.

“Somethings aren’t that simple. You had just lost David. I couldn’t tell you.”

“I never told you this, but when I went to meet John, before the accident, we talked about a lot including you.” Henrik was confused, and his face must have portrayed it, as she continued to explain. “We were very close when John introduced me to David. Even back then he was manipulating us. I never really thought about it until I confronted John, but you pulled away completely. You buried yourself in your work when I was going out with David. John kept saying David was the love of my life and somewhere down the line I started to think it too.”

“You did love David, he was a good man. Don’t let John make you doubt yourself.” Henrik squeezed her hand in his.

“Fine, I loved David, but I was always in love with someone else. When they pulled away from me completely I was left with David.” Roxanna looked at him accusingly.

He shrugged. “All I wanted was for you to be happy, but watching you with him was painful for me, but you were better off with him than me.”

She ran her fingers over his cheek and stared into his eyes. “No, I wasn’t. I admit I loved David, but I think deep down I was always in love with you, Henrik.” She could see he was about to disagree with her, so she distracted him from their ridiculous conversation in the only way she knew how. She kissed him slowly, but passionately, while being mindful of his injury. His lips soon reciprocated the kiss, moving against hers in perfect sync. His hands were splayed on her lower back, while hers were still on his face until she slipped them into his hair as the kiss intensified. When she broke away from him, she put a finger playfully over his lips, silencing him. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore. You are more than enough for me, you always were.” She kissed his cheek and pulled him up and in the direction of her room.


	5. Chapter 5

It had been weeks since Henrik had been discharged from the hospital and he had made tremendous progress in this time. He was still on his prescribed medication to prevent any infection and to stop any discomfort, but he felt much better than before. Roxanna looked after him, making sure he didn’t do anything too straining.

Henrik was standing at the kitchen counter stirring his coffee, when Roxanna entered the room behind him. He hadn’t appeared to have heard her, so she crept up behind him and hugged his torso, leaning her chin on his upper back, as she wasn’t wearing her usual heels and was too short to reach his shoulder.

Henrik smiled at her touch, it felt intimate in her own home and it was a new experience for him, it wasn’t usually something he was comfortable with, but with her everything was different. He turned slightly in her arms to hand her a coffee. Regrettably, she had to let go of him to drink her coffee, so she accepted it, leaning up to lightly kissed his cheek. They both leant on opposite sides of the kitchen counter facing one another while they drank their coffee. Their calm, quiet morning was interrupted by Roxanna’s phone ringing. She sighed, pulling it out of her pocket and was confused by the caller ID.

Serena Campbell.

In her confusion she tilted her phone towards Henrik to show him and then answered, so as to avoid being rude. Henrik could only hear one half of the conversation, but he understood the general gist of it. Serena was asking Roxanna if it was possible for her to go into the hospital for a consult. Roxanna was shaking her head and telling Serena that she wasn’t going back to work yet, Henrik touched her arm to get her attention and mouthed Go to her.

“Serena, I’ll think about it and call you back. Ok Bye.” She looked back at Henrik. “Jason has had a tumble on the stairs at the hospital and hit his head. Serena wants my expertise.”  
Henrik nodded. “You should go. She needs you. Besides I’ll be going into the hospital anyway for a check-up. Just go in for today and help Serena.” Roxanna submitted to him and agreed.

“Ok, I’ll call her back.” She arranged everything with Serena, finished her coffee and headed off to work, kissing Henrik lightly before she left. 

It was an odd feeling. Henrik had been living with Roxanna for weeks and it was the first time since the incident that he had been alone. Before he was stabbed, Henrik had lived a life of solitude and he had been content with things the way they were. Now he was finally alone in Roxanna’s house, it was silent, and he found that he missed her, although she had only just left. He realised in that moment that he had become so accustomed with her presence that he noticed the loneliness he felt when she was gone, which had never happened before.

He put himself to good use and washed the cups, which had previously been filled with coffee, before he had to leave for his appointment. He pulled his keys out and was about to move towards his car - which had been brought to Roxanna’s house from the hospital by Lofty, who offered to help them - but he hesitated. It was unusual for him to doubt himself, but the reason for this doubt was Roxanna – he knew she wouldn’t approve, as overexerting himself may limit or impede his recovery. Not wanting to upset her, he called a taxi to the hospital.

At his appointment, he found that his doctor was Serena. He raised his eyebrows when she walked in the room. “Really, is it really necessary for a consultant to do a quick check-up.”  
She glared at him. “Can’t I be concerned about my friend? Besides wouldn’t you want an experienced doctor over an F1?” 

Henrik submitted, unbuttoning his shirt - so Serena could properly look at his injury - as Serena began poking and prodding at him. “I didn’t expect to see you on the ward today, I thought you’d be with Jason.”

“He’s fine, Roxanna has taken good care of him. Now he’s with Greta and Gwen. They wanted to be alone.” Henrik nodded in understanding.

Serena pulled back his pad over his stitches to take a look at the wound. “Well, it looks like Jason isn’t the only person Roxanna has been looking after.” Serena teased light-heartedly. “You’ll be recovered and back in the trenches in no time.” Serena said as she cleaned the wound, replaced his pad with a new one and stood upright. “Take care, Henrik. Maybe you should make a stop on the ward, there’s a lot of people who’d love to see you.” Henrik smiled and nodded.

“Of course.” After having buttoned his shirt back up, he walked out of the room with Serena. He received many smiles, nods and some staff shook his hand – he had no idea why though, as he was only doing his job when he was stabbed. He wasn’t proud of it and it wasn’t an accomplishment. He ended up on Keller, after greeting Sacha and Dominic, he walked into his office. He sat in his office chair, but his eyes were drawn to the place where it had happened – where he had lay bleeding on the floor after he was stabbed.

Roxanna walked in. “Henrik?” She noticed where his eyes had previously been looking. “How was your check-up?”

“Fine. Serena says I may be able to come back to work soon.” Roxanna smiled at the news, knowing how much his work meant to him, but she couldn’t shake the image of his body lying almost lifeless on the floor. She didn’t realise that she had shed a tear until Henrik was in front of her brushing it away. 

“I’m sorry.” She apologised as she felt more tears follow the first one.

He brushed his hand against her cheek. “It’s okay. I’m okay.” As he reassured her, she leant into him, accepting his comfort.

“I’m glad you came by.” She mumbled into his chest.

Henrik smiled with his chin rested on the top of her head. “Why are you upset?” He asked, although he already had a pretty good idea.

“It’s silly. I’m fine.”

“Roxanna.” He said in a caring tone, but one which commanded her attention. “Please.”

She sighed. “When I saw you on the floor,” tears trickled down her face, “I didn’t think I’d ever see you in that chair again. I was scared, Henrik and I felt so alone.” She smiled slightly through her tears. “You held my hand to comfort me, when it was you that had been hurt and nearly killed.” Laying her head on his chest, over his heart, she finally felt reassured that he was still here with her. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Henrik hugged her gently. “You’re not alone, now or ever. I’m not going anywhere.” She lifted her head up to look into the depths of his eyes and where she could usually see pain and suffering, she could see nothing but sheer honesty. He made her feel safe, he was the one who should be feeling unsafe and insecure, but she was the one who needed the reassurance. Her head nuzzled in his chest and his arms securely wrapped around her provided her with a new optimism that everything would turn out okay. They were both realists rather than optimists, but this once they both decided, for their own sakes, to believe that now more than ever that life would take a turn for the better. He never believed in luck, but he felt elation to be more to Roxanna to a mere friend she turned to in her hour of need.

Their embrace was interrupted by Roxanna’s pager, forcing them both to reluctantly break apart. He kissed her forehead and smiled at her. “Go, I’ll see you at home.” She kissed his cheek and headed back out onto the ward to tend to her patient. 

Once again, he was alone with his thoughts. He hadn’t thought about his words until after he had said them. Home. He now thought of Roxanna’s house as home, a place where he belongs. Maybe it wasn’t the building, as much as it was the person the building was owned by. Since they had revealed their true feelings, there was a difference in him – he wasn’t against the idea of being affectionate or thinking that he could possibly by completely content with a life with Roxanna Macmillan. He had often wondered what would have happened if he hadn’t pulled away that day in the library, but now it didn’t matter, they were together. He shook his head of these thoughts and left the hospital to go home.

Taking a taxi home, Henrik reflected on the things that Roxanna had confided in him – her fear and how much he meant to her. He decided that after everything she had done for him, he would do something to return the favour, although his options were limited to the things that wouldn’t require too much movement, as he didn’t want to risk his stitches – Roxanna wouldn’t want that either.

When Roxanna returned home, after a long shift at the hospital she was tired and felt dead on her feet. The work and emotions together had tired her out and all she wanted was to sleep with Henrik at her side. Walking into her house, her keen sense of smell immediately detected a delicious scent in the air, flowing throughout her home. She shrugged out of her coat and placed her bag down by the door, before proceeding to investigate the origin of the aroma – the kitchen.

When she walked into the room, Henrik’s back was to her, but it was apparent that he heard her enter the room. “How was the rest of your day?” he asked without moving his attention away from his cooking.

“Fine.” She replied but even she wasn’t convinced by that answer.

Henrik shook his head. “The days where you can lie to me and I naively believe you have long past. You’re tired.” He observed.

“I am, I didn’t realise how draining today was going to be and the crying didn’t help.” That statement forced Henrik’s hands to still from the pot he was stirring.

He turned, and it was the first time he had turned to look at her since she had come home. “I’m sorry, that was my fault.”

Instantly, Roxanna was disagreeing and shaking her head. “No, you weren’t at fault, Henrik. I was glad to see you, it was just unexpected. I didn’t realise how much seeing you in that office again would affect me. I was just overly emotional.” Not wanting to start an argument over nothing, he didn't tell her that she wasn't overly emotional.

She knew despite what she said, that deep down Henrik still blamed himself for her emotions and the way she reacted. She decided to change the subject, as she glanced over to the meal he had been preparing before she had arrived home.

“I didn’t know you could cook.” She stated, as she watched him plate up their portions equally with a meticulous precision that nobody could possibly combat.

Henrik smirked at the expense of her shock. “Did you think I lived like a junior doctor – off fast food, coffee and alcohol? Besides it’s nothing special, just Spaghetti Bolognese. There wasn’t much in the cupboards.”

She sat down at her kitchen table, as he placed a plate in front of her and one for himself in front of the seat next to her, as he sat down next to her. “You remembered?”

“How could I forget? So many times, you told me about your favourite Italian and that the places in Boston didn’t hold a candle to Giovanni’s.”

Roxanna smiled lightly at the memory before taking her first taste of Henrik’s cooking and she had to admit that she was surprised. They both continued eating as they spoke. “That’s true, but maybe you could rival Giovanni’s. This is delicious, Henrik. Maybe you should cook for me more often.” 

Henrik couldn’t help but laugh, which was a rarity for him, but nevertheless she made him laugh. “Are you trying to turn me into a house husband?”

She was shocked as he referred to himself as a ‘husband’, but it was a cliché saying and he didn’t seem to register exactly what he had said, so she ignored it for now. “I wouldn’t dream of it, you wouldn’t last five minutes. You’re a workaholic, we both are and there’s no shame in that.”

Henrik nodded, once they were finished the glorious meal, together they washed and dried the plates. They worked in unison like a well-oiled machine. As he took the last dish from her to dry, he looked over at her. They were standing close together, so close that he could see her eyes, which reflected how the day had impacted her – she looked exhausted. He put the last dish away and turned to her, kissing her forehead as she leant into his embrace. “You should get some rest, you look tired.”

His concern over her always seemed to touch her; he was endlessly kind and considerate. She knew of the old hospital rumours that portrayed him negatively, often due to cuts to the NHS, which by no means were anything to do with him. Henrik did what was necessary and the smarter figures in the hospital could see the impact he had on the hospital – ‘the best CEO the hospital has ever had’. When she heard those rumours, she couldn’t believe how far they were from the truth. From the moment she had met him, she never had any doubts about him, he was and still is a good man. 

Leaning against his chest in front of the sink, where they had previously been washing dishes, she buried her head in the crook of his neck. The familiarity of the smell of his sandalwood aftershave was a comfort to her, one which could almost lull her to sleep. Roxanna could feel her weary eyes drooping and knew there was no use fighting against her fatigue any longer. With one arm wrapped around his waist and the other rested on his chest, she pulled her face away from his neck to look him in the eye as she asked. “Will you lie with me?” she asked gently, as she slipped her hand down his chest to intertwine their fingers.

Kissing the top of her head, he replied, “There’s nothing I’d like more.”

When they were in her bedroom, they both changed into their pyjamas. She watched as he methodically folded his clothes and put them away. She knew that some people would find his routines and extreme cleanliness irritating, but she liked it – it was a part of him and she wouldn’t change a single thing about him. Once they had both prepared themselves to go to sleep, they settled down together, in each other’s arms. Their bodies were entangled together, keeping full bodily contact. Her head peacefully rested over his steady beating heart, while he caressed her hair affectionately until she began to fall asleep.

“Goodnight, my love.” Roxanna muttered before giving in to her fatigue. For a moment Henrik is surprised by the term of endearment, but soon follows her into a deep sleep. 

“Goodnight.”


	6. Chapter 6

Roxanna was feeling conflicted when Henrik was given a full bill of health and was able to go back to work. Her head was filled with questions. What would happen now? Would he go home, or would he stay with her? Would he even want to? How would their relationship change now that he was healed?

Henrik himself was unsure about the not so distant future – one he hoped would be with Roxanna. He knew his own feelings quite well, but hers were another matter to him. He wasn’t entirely sure where they stood in terms on their relationship. They had mutual feelings for one another, but due to his injuries expressing these feelings had been limited mainly to kisses or subtly touches, like a stroke through his hair. He had found that she enjoyed the feeling of his soft dark curls, as she played with them when they were going to sleep.

After getting cleared to work again by his doctor, Henrik thought it would be best to gather his things to go back to his own house, as he felt that he had imposed on her too much. When Roxanna walked into the room to find him packing up his stuff, she felt a wave of disappointment wash over her. He wasn’t staying with her. “Leaving so soon, Henrik?”

He smiled guiltily and halted his actions to properly talk to her. “I didn’t want to impose any more than I already have.”

Shaking her head at him, she disagreed. “You’ve never imposed. I want you here, it’s been nice to have you here every day. Almost like uni, but with a few more advantages.” Roxanna would never deny that she was thrilled about the fact that they both finally admitted the feelings they had both had for thirty years, but she really wished they had done so sooner. “Will you stay with me for a bit longer, I’m not ready to see you go just yet?” Roxanna knew that she looked and sounded insufferably needy, but she couldn’t find it in herself to care. Henrik was utterly lost for words, after having to put up with him for weeks while he was injured, she wanted him to stay longer.

“If that is what you want?”

“It is.”

With a subtle grin on his face, he brought her into his embrace, confirming what she was hoping to hear, “Then I will stay as long as you want, my dear.” Her happiness due to his answer was apparent. Her eyes were shining with the love she had for him and his didn’t showcase the pain that was usually there, but in its place was a mirror image of what he could see in her eyes. Still in each other’s arms, she leant up on her toes to kiss him. It’s wasn’t a flimsy peck that she would have given him before they had established how deep their true feelings ran. She clung to his shoulders to keep herself at the same height as him, realising her awkward position, Henrik lowered himself down to her height, without breaking their kiss, until her feet were firmly on the ground. As the kiss intensified, she knocked him backwards onto the bed and she landed on top of him. She finally broke the kiss and she couldn’t help the giggle that escaped her at the position they had ended up in. He joined her in laughing and they had both never felt so light and carefree.

He kissed her forehead. “Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked holding her by the hips to stop her from accidently slipping off the bed.

“It should be me asking you that, you’re the one that has been injured.”

“I want to do this, if you do.”

She sat up vertically, still straddling his hips and pulled him up with her. She pulled off his glasses, to avoid them getting damaged during the activities that were soon to come and placed them on the bedside table. She slid her hand up his chest and began to unbutton his shirt one button at a time. Once she had all his buttons undone, his shirt hung limply against his chest, as she traced where his stitches had been and where his scar was. He took the hand tracing in his scar and brought it to his lips, before he followed her example by ridding her of her blouse. They were both shirtless and soon to be fully naked in front of once another for the first time. Their trousers were next to go, leaving them only in their undergarments.

She couldn’t help the self-conscious feeling that came over her, but he was ever the gentleman reassuring her that, “If you’re not ready we don’t have to go through with this. It’s up to you.”

Roxanna couldn’t help but fall more in love with him and she knew then that she had never been more ready for anything in her life. “No, I want this, I want this with you.” She leant into him again, with a new-found confidence that wasn’t visible before. She wrapped her body in his as her lips traced every inch of his, while she pushed her fingers aggressively through his dark tight tresses. During her assault of his mouth and head, he fiddled with the clasp of her bra, popping it open. Without releasing his lips or even opening her eyes, she pulled the bra off her body and threw it with impressive accuracy onto a nearby chair. When she broke away, she had a look of lust about her. She trailed her fingers innocently down his chest, until they met the fabric of the only scrap of clothing Henrik was still wearing. Her fingers wandered over the waistband, then underneath, as she pulled them down. He gave her the same curtesy, following her lead, by pulling her panties down her long legs. 

Now that they were fully unclothed, Henrik rolled them over, so he was hovering over her. She simply smirked at the change and pulled him closer to her by the back of his neck. He kissed his way from her lips, down her neck, paying special attention to a sensitive spot on her neck, which caused her to moan. He moved past her neck down to her breasts, which were already erect due to the chill in the room or maybe it was something else entirely. He played with one nipple, while giving the other one the same attention, but with his mouth. She arched her back, pushing herself further into him. 

“Please, Henrik. I need more.” She begged and panted.

He released her nipples and hovered over her, which for her felt like ages, but in reality, it was mere seconds. When he had finally pushed into her, she couldn’t explain the euphoria she felt in that moment. He stilled, allowing her to get used to the new feeling of him. When he started to move inside her, she wrapped her legs around his waist to stay as close to him as possible and dug her nails into his back, leaving many crescent dents there. She was loud and vocal in showing Henrik how he affected her. Her powerful moans filled the room, until her orgasm washed over her and he was soon to follow her. He caught himself before falling on top of her and rolled over, so he didn’t hurt her.

They were both breathing heavily, when she rolled onto her side to face him. She kissed him lightly, as they were still too out of breath for a proper kiss. He then pulled the duvet over the two of them. 

“Goodnight, Henrik.” She said as she felt herself falling asleep.

He kissed her forehead and followed her example. “Goodnight, Roxanna.” 

Once he was sure she was asleep, he rolled her off his chest and on to a pillow, as gently as he could so he didn’t wake her and got up to neatly fold their discarded clothing. It hadn’t bothered him while they had been wonderfully distracted, but now the mess was triggering him, so it had to be done. After everything had been meticulously folded to his liking, he climbed back into bed encircling her in his arms and pressing a light kiss to her head.


	7. Chapter 7

When Roxanna woke up the following morning, she was lying on Henrik’s bare chest. She had flashes of the previous night with an almost giddy smile on her face. Henrik was still asleep, but as she looked past him, she noticed their clothes from the night before were meticulously folded in a way only Henrik could pull off. It was one of his quirks that came with his unfortunate suffering of depression, but she was amazed that he wasn’t twitching while they were together due to the mess they made around the room and that he held off on tidying the room until she was asleep.

She sat up on her elbows and looked over him properly. He looked like he didn’t have a care in the world, so relaxed and he looked much younger without his glasses on, but she knew the reality of Henrik’s life was that he had it difficult from a young age and he had a stressful life. To her this only meant that she had to make sure he was as relaxed as possible when he was with her. After everything he had been through, he deserved as much love and support as she could offer, maybe even more.

She slowly slipped out of the bed and made her way over to her room to wrap herself in the comfort of her silk robe. When she returned to the spare room…Henrik’s room, as she liked to think of it, he was still in the same position as she had left him. She stood at the foot of the bed and watched in awe of the serenity on his face.

“I can feel you watching me, you know?” Henrik smiled, opening one eye to look at her, before he decided it was time to fully wake up and opened both eyes.

“I can’t help it. You look so peaceful when you’re asleep.”

She finally moved from the bottom of the bed to sit next to him. She was practically leaning over him, her messy fringe naturally falling to obstruct her left eye. Henrik brushed her hair away from her face, smiling knowingly. He could tell from her appearance that she hadn’t been awake for much longer than him, as she had only a thin robe covering her vanity and her hair was tousled due to the way she had slept, indicating to him that she hadn’t brushed it yet. He had never witnessed her like this before and he found it charming.

“Are you going to tell me what you’re thinking?” she asked.

“I’ve never seen you look quite so…”

“Messy?” she prompted, then she remembered her lack of make-up. “Old?”

Henrik shook his head. “I was going to say dishevelled, it’s endearing. You have never been and never will be old, not to me. Besides if you’re old, I’m older.” She laughed lightly at his attempt to assure her and make her feel better. “I’ve always found you beautiful, even when I couldn’t find the words to express it, but you have an inner beauty that perplexes me. Your kind soul is what makes you beautiful to me, not just your external qualities. I…”

Roxanna felt tears prick behind her eyes. Henrik was the type of man who always knew the right thing to say but was too shy or awkward to express such emotions. She cut him off from continuing with a kiss. It wasn’t lust filled, this kiss was pure and blissful emotion, that his words had awakened in her. She poured every emotion he made her feel into this one kiss. Breathing became a chore that she didn’t want to do, but she knew she would have to do eventually. She broke away from him slowly, leaving them both breathless. For a man who seemed very unaccustomed to romantic relationships, it amazed her that he could possibly make her feel so loved and special so early in their very new undefined more-than-friends relationship.

“I don’t deserve you.” She murmured, as she leant down to kiss his cheek.

“I rather think that it’s the other way around.”

“Perhaps we both deserve one another after having waited so long to find each other and finally confess how we really feel.”

“Right as always.” 

She smirked proudly and stroked the side of his face. “I’m going in the shower.” She informed his as she gathered herself to her feet. She was making her way over to the adjoining bathroom for the guest room. He watched as her hips swayed rhythmically, as if she was dancing to a tune only she could hear. He almost thought that she was doing it on purpose to seduce him. “You’re welcome to join me if you like.” She flirted unapologetically. She loosened the belt of her robe and let it fall from her shoulders, exposing her pale back to him, she was completely nude. She looked back over her shoulder to his general vicinity and winked at him. “The choice is yours?” She looked and felt very smug going into the bathroom, knowing exactly what she was doing and that he would follow her any second.

Frozen in that moment, all Henrik could really do was stare after her. He was only broken from his self-induced trance when Roxanna was in the bathroom and out of his line of sight. One day that woman would kill him. He was stunned by her skills of seduction. 

It took him a moment to return back to the present and pull himself out of the comfort of the bed. He was still completely naked, as he followed Roxanna’s lead into the bathroom, bending down to pick up her discarded robe as he passed it. The room was already emitting more warmth than the bed and the mirrors were all steamed up. He hung her thin robe on the hook on the back of the door. He could see her translucent silhouette through the fogged-up glass of the shower door. Her blonde hair was soaked and the water droplets travelled down her body until they hit the floor.

She didn’t seem to have noticed his presence in the room yet, so he got in the shower behind her and slid his hands around her waist. She leant into him, exposing her long neck, which was begging for his attention. He pressed a soft kiss to her shoulder, before progressing to her neck. Her eyes rolled shut at the feeling of them moving over the length of her neck. She groaned in protest when she felt his lips leave her neck. She turned in his arms, smiling mischievously, as she grabbed the back of his neck to bring his lips down to hers in a passionate kiss. She pulled him further underneath the gentle spray of the shower, as their kiss continued. Never, while they were in the shower, did their passion become sexual. Everything that happened in the shower was passionate and playful, but they had no desire for things to become more physical. They both preferred to cherish their partners and with it being Henrik’s first day back at work, they both knew that if they started something, they wouldn’t get the chance to finish it until after their shifts or they would be late, which was unforgiveable. 

After a while, there was a silent agreement between them that they needed to be finishing their shower, washing their hair and getting to the hospital. It was sometimes like this between them, when words weren’t needed to convey what they were thinking or feeling. He cherished that bond between them that he had never experienced with anyone else. Henrik rubbed shampoo into her hair, massaging her head while he was at it, while she stood and sighed in contentment. When it was her turn to return the favour, Henrik had to bend down for her to be able to reach his head, which he smirked at and teased her for. 

Turning off the shower, Roxanna pulled two towels off a nearby rack – wrapping one around Henrik’s waist and wrapping the other around her. They took another towel each to dry their dripping hair. They both stepped out of the shower together, their wet skin occasionally brushing against one another. She pushed her fingers through her damp hair and looked to see him staring back at her. She smiled and skimmed her fingers over the dark hairs that clung to his chest. “I’m glad you decided to join me.”

“As am I, but it didn’t feel as though I had much of a choice.” Once again, she had a devilish smirk painted across her face. She patted his chest and pulled him back into the bedroom. “Get dressed, Henrik. We’ve got work to do and lives to save. And you’ve also got your adoring colleagues who will be happy to see you.” She laughed as she saw him wince at the latter. “You’ve been missed, they care about you. You’re lucky to have them.”

He nodded, despite his disbelief of the concept of ‘luck’. His colleagues had been good to him since the incident. Undeniably supportive.

When she left the room, he pulled on a crisp white shirt, followed by one of his many black suits: trousers and suit jacket. After that he was left to choose a tie, but at that moment Roxanna re-entered to room. She was dressed in a pale blue blouse; navy-blue trousers and her hair was styled in its usual way. She looked gorgeous to his eyes. She pulled a tie out of the wardrobe. The tie was an ordinary blue and red diagonal stripped tie, but it was special as she had bought it for him for a birthday present along with engraved cufflinks. “You should wear this one?” she told him as she pulled up his collar and wrapped it around his neck, proceeding to tie it for him. She straightened the tie and pulled down his collar once she was finished. She put her hands on his shoulders and looked into his eyes as she asked, “are you ready?”

“Of course, my darling.” They went downstairs and walked out the door together with her hand in the crook of his arm.


	8. Chapter 8

Pulling up outside the hospital, Roxanna looked over at Henrik, who seemed to be lost in his own mind. Once she had parked the car she turned to him and touched his hand to bring him out of his trance. He smiled looking at the hand over his own, as she turned to her.

“If it’s too early, if you’re not ready, I can take you home.” She insisted, squeezing his hand supportively.

“I feel fine.”

“You and I both know that there is mental trauma as well as physical trauma.”

“If I feel the need to go home you’ll be the first to know, but I’ve been cleared to go back to work and I’m ready to start treating patients again.” She nodded in acknowledgment, leaning over to kiss his cheek. They both smiled before getting out to the car and heading towards the entrance of the hospital ready to face Henrik’s first day back in the trenches.  
Henrik walked into the hospital with Roxanna closely by his side. Their hands brushed as they walked side by side, but they didn’t hold hands. She didn’t want to push him into anything he didn’t want and today of all days he would already be in a place he didn’t want – the spotlight, the centre of attention. They were both very private people, who preferred to keep to themselves.

They made their way over to Pulses to get their morning dosage of caffeine before their shifts started. For that time in the morning, the hospital coffee shop was relatively quiet. The barista must have seen him making his way over as his regular order was waiting for him before he had even made it to the counter. 

“Welcome back, Mr Hanssen. Your regular.” She said as she was handing it to him. There was another barista behind her obviously making Roxanna’s regular order. The staff at the hospital, especially the doctors, were all so predictable when it came to coffee that the staff at Pulses knew more of their preferences.

“Thank you.” He made to pull his wallet out to pay for their coffees, when the barista, Amy, held her hand up. “It’s fine, these are on the house.” She said as the barista behind her placed Roxanna regular coffee on the counter next to Henrik’s. “It’s good to have you back, Mr Hanssen.”

He nodded in thanks. He took his cup off the counter and passed the other to Roxanna before they made their way over to the lift.

“You been missed and not only on the ward.” Roxanna smiled as she pressed the button on the lift to take them up to Keller, to their office. Henrik couldn’t help but smile back. Once they were in their office they went about their routines as usual – hanging up coats and checking their schedules for the day. Henrik was still sitting at his desk when Roxanna was about to depart the room, she bent down to place a delicate kiss on his cheek, smiling at him before she left. Henrik was experiencing this strange alien feeling of blissful happiness in his chest, which he had never felt before. He had to restrain himself from conforming to the cliché of touching his cheek where Roxanna’s lips had been just moments ago. Henrik pulled himself from his desk and left to treat his first patient.

Even just stepping out of the room, Henrik was greeted with friendly smiles of nurses, he knew that the day was probably going to continue like this all day – with colleagues checking in on him and telling him how great it was to have him back, as they would for any injured colleague returning to work.

His day was simple, for a doctor of his calibre, he figured it was just his colleagues easing him back into hospital life as a doctor rather than a patient. If Henrik was being honest with himself, many of the patients he had diagnosed could have been treated in the Emergency Department, but the E.D. had been swamped with patients, so some cases of stomach aches being diagnosed as kidney stones were sent up to Keller. Henrik had been told in no uncertain terms by Roxanna and many of his colleagues that it was too early for him to be going back into surgery so soon after recovering from his own surgery, of which they were unsure he was even going to wake up from. 

Throughout the day, he kept catching Roxanna looking over at him. She would smile or look away with a blush when she realised she had been caught. He always thought of her as a marvellous neurosurgeon, but she would never have a career in espionage.

He grabbed a coffee with Roxanna later in the day, when he received a text from Serena. They were stood at the lift waiting to go back up to their office when he received it.

Great to have you back, Henrik. Everyone is going to Albie’s to celebrate. I’ll drag you there if I have to, but I’m sure Roxanna has already got that covered. -S

Henrik’s lips curved at one side in a slight smirk as he read the message then showed it to Roxanna who also smiled. She insisted, “she’s right, Henrik. We have to go, it’s to welcome you back.”

He huffed slightly but nodded. “Alright.”

“I would much prefer to just go home with you and settle of the sofa with a glass of wine, but you owe it to them to show that you’re better.”

Henrik smiled. “But you and I both know they will go out for a drink regardless and will probably continue after we had departed for the night.” They stepped onto the empty lift as it arrived.

She nodded. “We can indulge them for a few drinks, then we can go home, and a can have you all to myself.” 

“That sounds nice.” As the lift came to their floor they stepped off and he held the door to their office open for her.

“How gallant of you, Henrik,” she grinned.

Henrik sent a message back to Serena, when Roxanna was due back on Keller.

I assure you the dragging will not be necessary, and we will see you in Albie’s after work. -H


End file.
